Bar Mitzvah gifts are really the perfect way to show that you care about your friend being accepted into the Jewish community as a full fledged adult. You should be careful in choosing a Bar Mitzvah gift, as in choosing a bridal shower gift, a baby shower gift, or any other kind of gift for a seminal event in anyone’s life because, like bridal shower gifts and baby shower gifts, bar mitzvah gifts really show that you respect the important traditional right of passage that someone is going through.
Well chosen bar mitzvah gifts should reflect something about Jewish tradition, or perhaps about your relattionship with the friend for whom you are choosing the gift. Shabbat candles, a Kiddish Cup, a Sidur, or Talit all represent excellent traditional Bar Mitzvah gifts, however, you should check with the family to make sure that no one already intends to buy this item, as it is traditionally bought by someone very close to the Bar or Bat Mitzvah. There are only so many Kiddish cups you need! Bat Mitzvah gifts really should be about the same, except that in many traditions, women don’t wear the talis, or the Yalmakah, so you should check ideally before, to see what they believe.
Really, when you get down to it, bar mitzvah giftscan be just about anything you think that the recipient would enjoy. Music can make good bar mitzvah gifts, books can make good bar mitzvah gifts (especially since the Bar Mitzvah is supposed to be a time of learning) and even clothing can make an excellentbar mitzvah gift. What’s important with bar mitzvah gifts is what is important with all kinds of gifts: that you mean to show your affection by giving the person something that shows that thought went into it. When they receive your bar mitzvah gift, they’ll know that you care.
Of course, there are more important things than bar mitzvah gifts. Traditionally, even before the bar mitzvah gifts are exchanged, many of the guests have to give speeches to talk about what the day and the person being Bar Mitzvahed mean to them. If you are close to the person of honor, you might consider having a speech prepared so that you don’t have to improvise on the spot. There can be nothing more embarassing than a hastily prepared speech. It is always good to be ready for any obligation you might have to fulfill in a religious ceremony.